Sardar Jokes

Sardar Jokes are very common in India. Mr.Kushwant Singh a well-known writer and cartoonist is known his Sardar jokes. Actually Sardars are the hardworking intelligentia who are in high positions and rich-list of India. They write it is just for fun.There is no No community feelings as most of the jokes are written by their own community people.

They are the equivalent of Blonde Jokes in the United States.

Smart Sardarji:
A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

Once upon a time, a Sardar applied to Medical School
needless to say he never made it do you know why ????
These are the answers he gave ...

ANTIBODY - against everyone
ARTERY - the study of fine paintings
BACTERIA - back door to a cafeteria
COMA - punctuation mark
DIAGNOSIS - person with a slanted nose
DILATE - the late British princess
GALLBLADDER - bladder in a girl
GENES - blue denim
HERNIA - she is close by
HYMEN - greeting to several males
IMPOTENT - distinguished, well-known
LABOR PAIN - hurt at workLACTOSE - person without digits on the foot
LIPOSUCTION - a French kiss
LYMPH - walk unsteadily
MICROBES - small dressing gowns
OBESITY - city of Obe
SECRETION - hiding anything
TABLET - small table
ULTRASOUND - radical noise
CAESARIAN SECTION - a district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY - advanced study of playing cards
CAT SCAN - searching for lost kitty
CHRONIC - neck of a crow
**********************************************************************

Kidnapping By a Sardar:

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.In order
to raise some money
he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He
went to the
playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and
told him, "I've
kidnapped you." Sardarji then wrote a note saying:
"I've kidnapped your
kid. tomorrow morning, put $.200,000 in a paper bag
and put it beneath
the mango tree on the north side of the city
playground".
Signed: "A Sardarji".
Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and
sent him home to show
it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji
checked,
and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango
tree. The boy was
sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag
and found the
$.200,000 in cash with a note saying: "How can a
sardarji do this to a
fellow Sardarji? Take the money, and please leave my
son."
Signed:"Another- Sardarji"
&&&&&&&&&

Sardar Wins the Lottery

1- Sardar Ji calls Air New Zealand
"How long does it take to fly to Bangkok from Auckland?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.

2- Sardar ji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes

3- Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

4- What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

5.What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

6.- Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour, new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

7- How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

8- Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"

9- What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

10- What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

11- How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

12- What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? Trying to hold on to a thought.

13- Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

14- Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.

15. Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station in India. He asks one man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here"?Man Replies 12.30. "When will Punjab Express go from here"?Man Replies 10.30. "When will Deccan Queen go from here"?Man Replies 12.30. Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.Sardar replies, "NO. I only want to cross the tracks!"

16.Sardarji bought a brand new Car and decided to drive down from Auckland, where he lived, to Rotorua to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either.

When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " What Happened, My Son?"

The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "These Japanese Car people are crazy!
They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!"